The Gardener Song

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Title: The Gardener Song
Author: siouxieq
Word Count: 200
Characters/Pairing: Frodo/Sam , with Merry and Pippin thrown in
Rating/Warning:  PG 13. Pure silliness, and will become an 'earworm' if you let it.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing with other people's toys.
Author's Note: Written for the toilanddrouble Monty Python Challenge. 


Sam:
I'm a gardener, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.

Frodo, Merry and Pippin:
He's a gardener, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.

Sam:
I plant out trees. I eat my lunch.
I’ve never been to Bree.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And cook buttered scones for tea.

Hobbits:
He plants out trees. He eats his lunch.
He’s never been to Bree.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And cooks us buttered scones for tea.

Chorus :
I'm (He's) a gardener, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.

Sam:
I plant out trees. I skip and jump.
I like to watch the stars.
I take off all my clothing
And fondle Frodo’s arse.

Hobbits:
He plants out trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes watch the stars.
He takes off all his clothing
And fondle Frodo’s arse?!

Repeat Chorus

Sam:
I plant out trees. I do cartwheels,
I frolic naked with my master
I wish I'd been a hobbit lass,
Just like my dear old Gaffer

Merry and Pippin (looking very perplexed):  He’s all yours Frodo, this is too weird for us!!

Comments

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

ROFL. I'm glad I didn't try "I'm an Uruk-hai". This is much better.

Fondle Frodo's arse, indeed. :D

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

I can just see Sam in a checked flannelette shirt.

Uruk-hai just screams the Black Knight to me

Fondle Frodo's arse was toned down from something far more politically incorrect - which I can't even bring myself to type.

[melandry.livejournal.com]

This is hilarious. Yet another instance of LotR/Python synergy.

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Thanks!! I'm not a huge Monty Python fan but the lumberjack song was just waiting to be Hobbit-ised

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

I AM LAUGHING OUT LOUD FOR REALS.

*dies*

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

*Revives you* go home and take two hobbits every 6 hours.

It's a crazy idea, but can't you just see Sam in a lumberjack outfit.

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

ROSIE (IN TEARS): Oh, Sammie! And I thought you were so butch!

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

He only wears dresses on Sundays (and every third Wednesday)

[citrine2.livejournal.com]

I take off all my clothing
And fondle Frodo’s arse.


Hello keyboard, meet Pepsi-Cola.

Seriously, after I got done wheezing, I threw back my head and laughed just like this: BWAHAHAHAAAA! I had no idea I could actually make that kind of noise in real life:D

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

I apologise for your pepsi coated keyboard!

I'm glad you liked it.

[ex-lbilover.livejournal.com]

Bwahahaha! I love this challenge. This is sooo funny, Siouxieq!

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Thanks! I'm you liked it.

[notabluemaia.livejournal.com]

There needs to be a whole extended dvd of these! Great fun! Thanks!

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

An extended DVD - what will we have as the collectible figurine in the box set.

Thanks for reading, it was fun to write.

[xylohypha.livejournal.com]

Am now in possession of earworm. It's all right: I've had this one before--and with new words, it's quite amusing. *g*

Thanks for the silliness!

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading - I've been singing it for days.

[belleferret.livejournal.com]

Brilliant!

*cleans up milk snorted on keyboard*

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Thanks!

*hands you a hobbit to wipe your keyboard off with*

[pretzel.livejournal.com]

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading - its one of my favourite scenes

[myladylyssa.livejournal.com]

*roars*

Loved this! The picture in my head.... *giggles*

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Thanks for reading.

The picture? Is it - Sam in a red plaid flannel shirt, jeans and workboots - or - Naked Sam, kneading Frodo's cheeks.

[myladylyssa.livejournal.com]

I think it was Sam in a dress doing cartwheels....LOL!

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

Oh. My. God.

ROFLMAO!!!

Frodo: Oh, Sam, and I thought you were so butch!
*runs off crying*

*snicker*

*insert request for linking onto silly archive here*

[siouxieq.livejournal.com]

Frodo: Oh, Sam, and I thought you were so butch!
*runs off crying*

You can still be butch in a dress, it's all in the attitude.

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

Heh. Someone should tell Carol Cleveland's character that! LOL!