The Gardener Song
Jun. 17th, 2006 06:05 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png)
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Title: The Gardener Song
Author: siouxieq
Word Count: 200
Characters/Pairing: Frodo/Sam , with Merry and Pippin thrown in
Rating/Warning: PG 13. Pure silliness, and will become an 'earworm' if you let it.
Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing with other people's toys.
Author's Note: Written for the toilanddrouble Monty Python Challenge.
Sam:
I'm a gardener, and I'm okay.
I sleep all night. I work all day.
Frodo, Merry and Pippin:
He's a gardener, and he's okay.
He sleeps all night and he works all day.
Sam:
I plant out trees. I eat my lunch.
I’ve never been to Bree.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And cook buttered scones for tea.
Hobbits:
He plants out trees. He eats his lunch.
He’s never been to Bree.
On Wednesdays he goes shopping
And cooks us buttered scones for tea.
Chorus :
I'm (He's) a gardener, and I'm (he's) okay.
I (He) sleep(s) all night and I (he) work(s) all day.
Sam:
I plant out trees. I skip and jump.
I like to watch the stars.
I take off all my clothing
And fondle Frodo’s arse.
Hobbits:
He plants out trees. He skips and jumps.
He likes watch the stars.
He takes off all his clothing
And fondle Frodo’s arse?!
Repeat Chorus
Sam:
I plant out trees. I do cartwheels,
I frolic naked with my master
I wish I'd been a hobbit lass,
Just like my dear old Gaffer
Merry and Pippin (looking very perplexed): He’s all yours Frodo, this is too weird for us!!
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Date: 2006-06-17 09:02 am (UTC)Fondle Frodo's arse, indeed. :D
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Date: 2006-06-17 09:17 am (UTC)Uruk-hai just screams the Black Knight to me
Fondle Frodo's arse was toned down from something far more politically incorrect - which I can't even bring myself to type.
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Date: 2006-06-17 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 10:51 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-17 04:27 pm (UTC)*dies*
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Date: 2006-06-18 10:57 am (UTC)It's a crazy idea, but can't you just see Sam in a lumberjack outfit.
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Date: 2006-06-17 07:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 11:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-17 11:51 pm (UTC)And fondle Frodo’s arse.
Hello keyboard, meet Pepsi-Cola.
Seriously, after I got done wheezing, I threw back my head and laughed just like this: BWAHAHAHAAAA! I had no idea I could actually make that kind of noise in real life:D
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Date: 2006-06-18 11:02 am (UTC)I'm glad you liked it.
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Date: 2006-06-18 01:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-18 11:16 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 01:20 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 02:19 pm (UTC)Thanks for reading, it was fun to write.
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Date: 2006-06-19 04:30 am (UTC)Thanks for the silliness!
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Date: 2006-06-19 02:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 12:27 pm (UTC)*cleans up milk snorted on keyboard*
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Date: 2006-06-19 02:22 pm (UTC)*hands you a hobbit to wipe your keyboard off with*
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Date: 2006-06-19 02:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-20 12:38 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-19 04:04 pm (UTC)Loved this! The picture in my head.... *giggles*
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Date: 2006-06-20 12:41 pm (UTC)The picture? Is it - Sam in a red plaid flannel shirt, jeans and workboots - or - Naked Sam, kneading Frodo's cheeks.
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Date: 2006-06-20 03:57 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-21 05:34 am (UTC)ROFLMAO!!!
Frodo: Oh, Sam, and I thought you were so butch!
*runs off crying*
*snicker*
*insert request for linking onto silly archive here*
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Date: 2006-06-25 12:09 pm (UTC)*runs off crying*
You can still be butch in a dress, it's all in the attitude.
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Date: 2006-06-25 03:04 pm (UTC)