Burn Up Your Dead

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Title: Burn Up Your Dead
Author: mallorn_gamgee
Word Count: 200
Characters: Pippin, Denethor, Faramir, Beregond and Gandalf
Rating: G
Author's Note: Written for the "Monty Python" challenge at toilanddrouble. Because every time I see that scene I think of this Python scene.



Faramir’s limp body was laid on the courtyard, where Pippin and Denethor rushed to his side.

Denethor cried,“My son…is dead! The last of the Stewards of Gondor.”

Pippin peered intently at Faramir. “He’s not dead.”

“Well he will be soon. He’s very ill. Bring wood and oil!”

Soldiers carried Faramir to the halls of Gondor.

“Lay him out on the pyre,” commanded the Steward.

“I don’t want to go on the pyre!” Faramir faintly protested.

“Oh, don’t be such a baby.”

“I feel fine. I’m getting better,” Faramir whispered, fluttering his eyelids.

“No, you aren’t. You’ll be pushing up the Simbelmyne soon enough,” Denethor said, pouring oil over them both.

“I feel fine, I feel like going for a walk. It’s only a flesh wound!”

“You’re fooling yourself. The family line ends here,” Denethor said, before asking Beregond, “Do you think I should keep the fur coat on? Or is that a bit too-too?”

“The wet look works for you,” the soldier observed.

Gandalf stormed in on Shadowfax, bellowing, “Belay this madness!”

Denethor stood in the center of the pyre with a lit match. “Can’t you just give us a few minutes then?”

Gandalf struck Denethor with his staff.

“No.”

Comments

[cara-chapel.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO! I love it. :D

[melandry.livejournal.com]

“I don’t want to go on the pyre!”

I can just see this scene. Very very funny.

[sophinisba]

Oh, that is great. I hadn't ever thought of that but of course I will every time I watch RotK from now on. Very funny.

[xylohypha.livejournal.com]

"I'm getting better."

*wheezes* Oh, my sides.

[rabidsamfan.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

[gardnerhill.livejournal.com]

Faramir, feebly: I feel happy...I feel happy...

[semyaza.livejournal.com]

ROFLMAO. This is great and you know, it's scary how well LotR and Python go together. Or perhaps it's inevitable.

[annwyn55.livejournal.com]

I'm getting better

LMAO! Damn - I've got to watch Python again. And RotK. :D

[elycia.livejournal.com]

I actually heard people quoting Monty Python at this point when I saw RoTK in the theater. Nice to know I wasn't the only hopeless geek there. For my part, I love Faramir's "fluttering eyelids." What a girl! ;-)

[belleferret.livejournal.com]

Priceless!

I can't possibly pick a favorite line to quote back at you, they are all perfect!

[mariole.livejournal.com]

Ow, ow, I actually hurt. This is brilliant. Love it.

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Huzzah! I'm so pleased, I wasn't sure it was funny!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Thanks, I'm happy you liked it!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

The first time I saw ROTK, I couldn't help giggling because I immediately thought of Python and every time I saw it after that, I started quoting. It's a sickness.

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

*giggles*

Thank you!!!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Thank you!!! Glad you liked it.

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

I almost put that line in, but I was running out of words. hehehe

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

It's a match made in heaven, or er, somewhere other than Earth anyways.

Thanks dear, I'm so so so happy you liked it!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

I know, I have had the urge to watch a double feature of Holy Grail and ROTK now. hehehe

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

LOL Thanks!! Whenever Faramir does flutter his eyelids in ROTK, I always mutter, "I feel fine, I feel happy!"

*giggles*

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Awww thanks very very much!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Thanks ever so! I'm glad you enjoyed!

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

*rofl!!*

My nipples explode with delight!! :D

Lovely job. :D

Would you mind if I linked to this from my archive Ministry of Silly Fic?
http://www.geocities.com/master_fishgoat/fiction.html

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

I'd be more than honored to have a link!!!

I'm also pleased that I made someone's nipples explode with delight. :D

[capra-maritimus.livejournal.com]

*snicker*

Python really is good for all occasions! LOL

[surgicalsteel.livejournal.com]

*falls off chair laughing*

[myladylyssa.livejournal.com]

Great job! Hee hee!!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

Oh, thank you, glad you liked!

[malakhai.livejournal.com]

hehe Thank you!