[identity profile] gardnerhill.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] toilanddrouble
Title: THE DEAD PARAGON SKETCH
Author: gardnerhill
Word Count: 200
Pairing: None, really. Unless you want the real reason for that anger.
Rating: PG (some bad words British-style)
Author's Note: For the "Monty Python" challenge on toilanddrouble.




Aragorn strode into the Great Hall of Minas Tirith, smoking with anger. "Hello! I wish to complain about this Man you sent to Rivendell!"

Denethor beamed. "Oh yes, Boromir! Very popular, good with a sword! What's wrong with him?"

"I'll tell you what's wrong with him, mate." Aragorn dropped the arrow-riddled corpse before the Steward's Seat. "He's dead, that's what's wrong with him."

Denethor stared. "Nah, he's stunned. Gondorian Stewards stun easily. Lovely armour."

"The armour don't enter into it! He's bleeding demised!"

"Nah, he's pining for the White Tower."

"He's full of Orc arrows!"

"Well, Gondorian Stewards prefer being full of Orc arrows!"

Aragorn shouted, "Listen, mate! This Man is no more. He is deceased! He has ceased to be! If we hadn't popped him into a boat and sent him down river, he'd be pushing up the daisies! He's sailed into the West, taken the Gift of Iluvatar and now lies in Mandos' Halls of Bleeding Waiting! This! Is an Ex-Steward!"

Silence. "Right, then, I'd best get you another one shall I?" Denethor beckoned to Faramir.

Arargorn rolled his eyes. "You have to set people on fire and throw them off cliffs to get anything done around here."

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