[identity profile] rabidsamfan.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] toilanddrouble
So even though [livejournal.com profile] gardnerhill beat us to it, I thought I'd post this anyway. *grin*

Title: Deleted Scene
Authors: Rabidsamfan with contributions and snickers by Bill the Pony
Word Count: 200
Rating: Silly



Five Nazgul face the walls of Bree. Three hobbits look down at them.

Witch King intones: We Seek The One Ring. Send your Master Out to Join Us.

Sam with dreadful accent: Mind yer own taters, he ain’t comin’!

Pippin with worse accent: He’s already got one! Voyons!

Merry baffled: Voyons?

Pippin shrugging: It’s French, no?

Merry: No. leans over parapet: Your father was a Gaffer, and your mother smells of Elderberries!

Sam: HEY!

Merry: Sorry, Sam. Fetchez les pommes de cheval! Now THAT’s French!

Loud thunk of catapult. Nazgul retreat from a short sharp shower of...you know...

WiKi: Elderberries? What do elderberries smell like?

Khamul: Pardon me, Sire. But I have a cunning plan.

Much hammering and banging. Nazgul reappear pushing a large wooden Fell Beast to the gate. They retreat to woods. Hobbits come out and drag Fell Beast in to Bree.

WiKi: Now what?

Khamul: When darkness falls, you and I and the others sneak out of the Beast and attack.

significant pause

Khamul: Perhaps we should build a large wooden badger…

Catapult thunks. The Fell Beast comes flying at the Nazgul.

WiKi screeching: Run Away! Run Away!

Exeunt Nazgul to a chorus of hobbity raspberries.
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