[identity profile] rabidsamfan.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] toilanddrouble
So even though [livejournal.com profile] gardnerhill beat us to it, I thought I'd post this anyway. *grin*

Title: Deleted Scene
Authors: Rabidsamfan with contributions and snickers by Bill the Pony
Word Count: 200
Rating: Silly



Five Nazgul face the walls of Bree. Three hobbits look down at them.

Witch King intones: We Seek The One Ring. Send your Master Out to Join Us.

Sam with dreadful accent: Mind yer own taters, he ain’t comin’!

Pippin with worse accent: He’s already got one! Voyons!

Merry baffled: Voyons?

Pippin shrugging: It’s French, no?

Merry: No. leans over parapet: Your father was a Gaffer, and your mother smells of Elderberries!

Sam: HEY!

Merry: Sorry, Sam. Fetchez les pommes de cheval! Now THAT’s French!

Loud thunk of catapult. Nazgul retreat from a short sharp shower of...you know...

WiKi: Elderberries? What do elderberries smell like?

Khamul: Pardon me, Sire. But I have a cunning plan.

Much hammering and banging. Nazgul reappear pushing a large wooden Fell Beast to the gate. They retreat to woods. Hobbits come out and drag Fell Beast in to Bree.

WiKi: Now what?

Khamul: When darkness falls, you and I and the others sneak out of the Beast and attack.

significant pause

Khamul: Perhaps we should build a large wooden badger…

Catapult thunks. The Fell Beast comes flying at the Nazgul.

WiKi screeching: Run Away! Run Away!

Exeunt Nazgul to a chorus of hobbity raspberries.

Date: 2006-06-16 09:26 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-06-16 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] shirebound.livejournal.com
WiKi: Now what?

Khamul: When darkness falls, you and I and the others sneak out of the Beast and attack.

significant pause

Khamul: Perhaps we should build a large wooden badger…

Catapult thunks. The Fell Beast comes flying at the Nazgul.

WiKi screeching: Run Away! Run Away!

Exeunt Nazgul to a chorus of hobbity raspberries.


ROTFL!!! *huge grin* *finds particularly silly icon*

Date: 2006-06-16 10:21 pm (UTC)
ext_38381: (gladder)
From: [identity profile] melandry.livejournal.com
A wooden fell beast! That is hilarious.

Date: 2006-06-17 08:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gardnerhill.livejournal.com
Just gotta say I adore your icon. I, too, am so glad that PJ & Co. tweaked Frodo's words to make it a bit less "Well, I'm glad that you can die in this hellhole with me, Samwise Gamgee!"

Date: 2006-06-18 01:06 am (UTC)
ext_38381: (F/S OTP)
From: [identity profile] melandry.livejournal.com
Thanks! The dialogue is a quote from a fanfic, "Variations on the Destruction of the Ring" by Cnell.

Date: 2006-06-17 02:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malakhai.livejournal.com
OMG BADGERS.

That's hilarious, I was just thinking of badgers today!!!!

Love it!!!!!!! Brilliant!

Date: 2006-06-17 03:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mariole.livejournal.com
Very silly indeed. Thanks for sharing!

Date: 2006-06-18 05:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gardnerhill.livejournal.com
I blow my nose on you so-called Witchy King, you and all your silly Nazgul k...nigghts! (Pthffffttth!!!)

Date: 2006-06-19 01:18 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notabluemaia.livejournal.com
Hee! A hoot - Thanks!

Date: 2006-06-19 04:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xylohypha.livejournal.com
I laughed out loud at the Nazgul retreating in disorder. Thanks!

Date: 2006-06-19 04:07 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-06-21 05:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capra-maritimus.livejournal.com
*sillygrin*

*in outrageous accent* I wave my private parts at you!

I've been asking everyone: would you mind if I linked to this from my archive The Ministry of Silly Fic?
http://www.geocities.com/master_fishgoat/fiction.html
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