[identity profile] kelllie.livejournal.com posting in [community profile] toilanddrouble
Title: And now for something completely different...
Author: Kelllie
Word count: 200
Rating: G...? Perhaps PG for those who are sensitive to cannibalism, or have dirty minds.
Author's Note: Oh dear. Strange things happen when I stay up this late. My apologies to the brilliant ones who wrote the 'Lifeboat' sketch. I couldn't resist twisting it to my own purposes.

And now for something completely different…

The Hobbits and Strider inch toward Rivendell…

Sam, how long is it?

Sam: That's a rather personal question, sir.

Merry: Git. I meant how long since Weathertop?

Sam: 17 days. Mr. Frodo can't hold out much longer.

Pippin: Neither can we. We haven’t a proper meal for days…

Frodo: (weakly) Listen... I'll never… get through, but...you might. You'd better… eat me…

Sam: Eat you, sir?

Frodo: Yes. Eat me.

Pippin: Iiuuhh! With a gamey shoulder?

Frodo: There's… still plenty of… good meat left…

Pippin: I'd rather eat Sam!

Strider: Me too.

Sam: Well, that's settled then...

Merry: But...

Frodo: What?

Merry: No, go ahead, please…

Frodo: Merry… you're starving…

Merry: Well… Sam’s not kosher.

Pippin: That depends on how we kill him.

Merry: True. But I prefer leaner meat… like Strider.

Sam: I wish you'd all stop bickering and eat me.

Frodo: Those who… want can… eat Sam. We’ll make… stock from me… and have… Strider… cold for supper.

Merry: Good thinking. Waitress! (waitress enters) We've decided. We're going to have leg of Strider, and…

Strider: This is the silliest sketch I've ever been in. (he exits)

Frodo: Yes. He’s right.

Merry, Sam and Pippin: Right. (they all exit)

Date: 2006-06-16 08:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elycia.livejournal.com

I now have this bizarre juxtaposed mental image of the hobbits bickering and Tommy Lee Jones in a black suit jupming up and down and waving his arms, yelling, "EAT ME!"

Nicely done! :-)

Date: 2006-06-16 08:21 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] semyaza.livejournal.com
LOL. It's scary how easily LotR can be Pythonified. Very neat.

Date: 2006-06-16 02:12 pm (UTC)
ext_38381: (sam is love)
From: [identity profile] melandry.livejournal.com
Bad move to eat the guide, I think they'll find.

Very amusing. :)

Date: 2006-06-16 02:36 pm (UTC)

Date: 2006-06-16 03:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malakhai.livejournal.com
LOL I love it when they say "it's too silly" and all leave!! How fun!

Date: 2006-06-17 01:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] malakhai.livejournal.com
Yes, I love those skits in Python!

Date: 2006-06-17 03:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mariole.livejournal.com
I don't know why this is funny. It seems to me a perfectly believable conversation, considering how sharp set they were. ;)

Oh, lovely. By coincidence, I'm replaying the Monty Python shows right now (I've got them all on tape). They are very silly, but their parody really stands the test of time. Bravo, brava!

Date: 2006-06-19 12:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mews1945.livejournal.com
so good.

Date: 2006-06-19 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] notabluemaia.livejournal.com
Can't stop smiling! Don't you think they filmed this in the outtakes???

Terrific - thanks!

Date: 2006-06-19 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] xylohypha.livejournal.com
But Strider could feed them all for days. It's simple math, after all. On the other hand, Sam.

Good thing I'll never have to make that decision, isn't it! *g*

Date: 2006-06-19 05:59 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] illyria-novia.livejournal.com
Frodo: Those who… want can… eat Sam. We’ll make… stock from me… and have… Strider… cold for supper.

Good gracious!

Do cannibalistic hobbits eat six times daily? :)

This made me laugh! Thanks for sharing. :)

Date: 2006-06-19 04:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myladylyssa.livejournal.com
Perfect! Is it scary that I can so easily see this?

Date: 2006-06-20 04:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] myladylyssa.livejournal.com
*huddles close*

Date: 2006-06-21 05:41 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capra-maritimus.livejournal.com

Well, they'd last longer if they started on Sam.... LOL!


I'm wondering if you'd mind being linked to from my archive...
The Ministry of Silly Fic

Date: 2006-06-21 03:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] capra-maritimus.livejournal.com
Cool! Thanks. :D
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